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Anagnorisis - This Cursed Blood

All my failures begging for an end
These false promises becoming anchors
Drowning with the hopes of something real
Estranged to this person I've become
I feel contempt and diseased
Solidifying my hatred of forced existence
Pestilence pulses through my veins
Paralyzing me
It keeps me from draining it all

This place I dwell is a hollowed man
Boarded up and black with rot
I dream in better lights with less reflection
Shadows upon shadows cast inside

Like death masks piled on until there’s no identity
I know there must be more to me

I raise my eyes upward, into the night
Into the darkness that existed before the light
Downward to death, the foundation of all life

Sigil marked for non-existence
This cursed blood can't kill what's already dead inside

It becomes misplaced to those I call friends
As I attempt to terraform this misery
Caustic is my nature
Eroding life around me
Self-hatred binds my will to change

As a lion let me drink from blood of your Christ
Awaiting salvation with open jaws
Shepherding hope into the belly of the beast
Digesting tired faith and shitting out lies

I don't deserve happiness
I haven't earned the right to self-peace
Preservation through malice is the irony
As I'm consumed with thoughts of death
When time comes
I'll enter my forest with no ribbon, just rope