On your Facebook
I see pictures of Canary Islands '07
So I double-tap
To zoom in
That's a sensible progression
It's what I expect
It's what I expect
On your Twitter
I see a picture of a beautiful shoreline
So I double-tap
To zoom in
That's standard interface design
It's what I expect
It's what I expect
On your Instagram
[long pause and sigh to indicate what I am about to say does not make me happy]
I see a picture of you and I quite like it
So I double tap
To zoom in
Oh fucking hell I've liked it
If I delete my account will that get me out of this situation?
If I unlike it immediately will she still get the notification?
And if she does how will she think of me after that?
I suppose it depends on whether Instagram tells her the exact picture I was looking at
Oh Instagram
I'm afraid that it's fundamentally reckless
To meddle
With a series
Of universally recognised gestures
And Instagram
I think that it cannot be disputed
Double-tap
To zoom
Has been the standard since Steve Jobs introduced it
I could pretend like it was deliberate
Like I was making an ironic comment on
The nature of human duality and the way we...
I mean that's just shit
I could sporadically like other pictures
The effect of which would ideally
Obscure me singling out the one
Of you in your bikini
So when you get a moment
Please consider a retraction
It's not too late for you to change
The default interaction
And also if you get a moment
(and I don't mean to sound bossy)
But if possible, when you get a sec
Could you ask her to unblock me?
I've sent like four or five support emails about this
So...
...just when you get a chance
I see pictures of Canary Islands '07
So I double-tap
To zoom in
That's a sensible progression
It's what I expect
It's what I expect
On your Twitter
I see a picture of a beautiful shoreline
So I double-tap
To zoom in
That's standard interface design
It's what I expect
It's what I expect
On your Instagram
[long pause and sigh to indicate what I am about to say does not make me happy]
I see a picture of you and I quite like it
So I double tap
To zoom in
Oh fucking hell I've liked it
If I delete my account will that get me out of this situation?
If I unlike it immediately will she still get the notification?
And if she does how will she think of me after that?
I suppose it depends on whether Instagram tells her the exact picture I was looking at
Oh Instagram
I'm afraid that it's fundamentally reckless
To meddle
With a series
Of universally recognised gestures
And Instagram
I think that it cannot be disputed
Double-tap
To zoom
Has been the standard since Steve Jobs introduced it
I could pretend like it was deliberate
Like I was making an ironic comment on
The nature of human duality and the way we...
I mean that's just shit
I could sporadically like other pictures
The effect of which would ideally
Obscure me singling out the one
Of you in your bikini
So when you get a moment
Please consider a retraction
It's not too late for you to change
The default interaction
And also if you get a moment
(and I don't mean to sound bossy)
But if possible, when you get a sec
Could you ask her to unblock me?
I've sent like four or five support emails about this
So...
...just when you get a chance
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