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Stay awake
I close my eyes, feel everything at once
Fade to grey
You put your faith on needles end, and the hemlock's in your
Blood
I can start to make out imprints on the floor
From months of laying still
I feel like I've lost all that I fought for
Getting out of bed each day still kills me
In the morning all I think about is you
I left an army of angels in my carpet
Guardians in my living room
And I don't know why I'm not letting this go
I spent these 6 months on my own and I've got nothing to show for it
I don't know why I've been feeling so low
And every day just seems to drone on disappointments I can't outgrow
And it feels like I haven't slept in weeks
Because each time I close my eyes I drown silent in apathy
Choke on every opportunity
To be the man that you need me to be
Second chances, ghosts, and memories
Spending hours chasing shadows between the sheets
I still see you in the retina static too
You hung yourself on the slack I gave you
You found a temporary fix for all your problems
But it turned into a permanent solution
Now I'm dealing with the aftershock that comes from time to time
I'm still wrestling these anxious thoughts that haunt me in the night
I haven't changed at all inside
I haven't changed at all inside
I haven't changed at all inside
And I don't know why I'm not letting this go
I spent these 6 months on my own and I've got nothing to show for it
I don't know why I've been feeling so low
And every day just seems to drone on disappointments I can't outgrow
I slowly watched your best years wash away
Like a Monterey sunrise I shouldn't be surprised they never came
You said that this was it and that you'd change
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